Thursday, February 28, 2008

Yoav likes Elie!

Today Yoav said, "I like he." referring to Elie! He's been giving him random kisses in the last day or so. I think we've really reached a turning point. With Elie smiling at Yoav, if Yoav is hugging Elie too tight or doing something that makes me nervous, I can redirect to Yoav doing something funny for Elie which Yoav seems to enjoy. Today he did a jumping on the bed show for Elie :)

In the afternoon, we played with Mo & Lucy. First at our apartment and then at theirs. And I got laundry done!

Jer will be back tomorrow. Sounds like he has a lot of work to do over the weekend, though, and I guess he'll be exhausted :( Yoav will be so happy to see him, though. Yoav is sad every morning when he sees that Jer isn't in the bed. Me too, since Jer usually plays with Yoav in the morning for a bit before he goes to work ;)

We had a horrible night last night - I couldn't get Elie to sleep until after 12 and I ended up waking Yoav up trying to get Elie to sleep TWICE! Once I woke up Elie (and then Yoav) transferring a sleeping Elie to the bed and the other time I thought it'd be easier for Elie to fall asleep in bed. D'oh. Tonight I'm going to get him to fall asleep in a wrap and will try transferring that way. It really sucks to get two nurslings to sleep without any husband help. When they're both awake and fussy, it's really hard to get into a position where they can both fall asleep. I'm also going to make sure everything is set up perfectly in advance. I was also shifting prefolds around a little, which partially caused the Yoav wake-ups.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Rejection

We had another very pleasant day today.

Started out with Elie's infant audiology screening. It's usually done in the hospital after the baby is born and it's mandatory so we had to go in to get it done (not that I didn't want to). We went into a small room and the audiologist (?) dimmed the lights for me to get Elie to sleep. He was in the wrap and fell asleep within minutes with nursing and the dimmed lights. She put something (like a bud on adult headphones) in his ear and ran a test on the computer. We all had to be perfectly still. It was so cute to watch Yoav be still. The first test was easy. The second ear took a few times - the first time Yoav started lightly tapping his feet together; the second time he interrupted to ask if they have stickers (he's learned that all doctors give out stickers); the next time Elie fidgeted and the bud fell out. But we got it done and he passed with flying colors (the tests measures the functioning of the organs). The woman said that this test is more thorough than the one done in hospitals.

After that, we went to David's Bagels for lunch. On the way, Yoav saw bananas on a fruit stand and let go of my hand and ran ahead to get one. First he just got one and I said he could pick out a few. I heard him mumbling something like, "One for Aba, one for Elie..." He got three and I don't know if the third one was for me or for him...

Then we sat down for bagels and went straight up to Suzuki class. On the bus, Yoav was asking people their names, as usual. One man's name was Wolfgang. I told Yoav it was a German name. Then he asked another man his name and the man's name was Kenny. After the man said his name, Yoav said to him, "What kind of name is that?" But without the context, it sounded more like he was asking, "What kind of stupid name is that??!?!?!" The man looked shocked at first and I explained the Wolfgang story ;) On the next bus, we actually saw a man that Yoav had started a conversation with! The man recognized us and said hi! ;)

Music class was fun. This time Yoav actually did all of the standing up activities, which he has, until now, stayed sitting for and has previously just watched. After class, Yoav said he wanted to leave with Isabella and her nanny. It turned out that they were going to the C/E subway, so we could walk to the subway together and then ride together for a bit. On the walk, Yoav decided that he wanted to hold hands with Isabella. He asked me to ask her, which I did, but she said no :( Yoav was heartbroken! He looked so dejected. His lip started to quiver and he had to hold back tears. For the rest of the trip, he occasionally held his right hand out in a position ready to be held and maybe twice more, the nanny asked Isabella again if she would hold Yoav's hand, but she stuck with her no. Each time, it nearly brought tears to Yoav's eyes. Even after we parted ways, when we were walking to the L, Yoav held out his hand and I validated and said, "You really wanted Isabella to hold that hand?" and again he got teary eyed and I crouched down and hugged him for a minute or two. He seemed to be looking for a good hug to help him get over the sadness of his rejection. It was very sweet.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Another pleasant day




We had a really good day today. Over the past few days, I've listened to Naomi Aldort's "Babies & Toddlers: To Tame or Trust" CD twice and I listened in on a teleseminar w/ Scott Noelle and his wife on the book "Undefended Love". Between the two, I've had four smooth days in a row (ie, no frustration/anger/inability to cope LOL)!!!

I just ordered the other set of Aldort CDs ("Trusting our Children, Trusting Ourselves"). I read her book (twice), but it was almost a year ago, and the refresher has been really helpful. I ordered the "Undefended Love" book to read next, but then I think I'll go back to the ROCRO.

Today we got up around 7 (I had gone to sleep at 10, so I got lots of sleep!), had breakfast (granola for me, oatmeal for Yoav), then cleaned for a while (me sweeping, doing dishes, putting clutter away, Yoav dusting, helping put single items away and playing while I cleaned), and then played for a long time. I made sure to really give him undivided attention (and if I had to attend to Elie, I was still focused on Yoav at the same time - like if Elie had to pee, it really didn't distract me at all and if I went to the bathroom, Yoav came with me). We mostly played with his marble run. Yoav set up a track and divided up the marbles (he did this several times - a big part of the fun is examining/counting/dividing the marbles). He's getting pretty good w/ the marble run and blocks in general - he understands how to add blocks for support and seems to have a pretty strong understanding of how to balance them. It's fun to watch his structures get more and more complicated over time.

I had gotten some Applegate chicken nuggets and he ate six for lunch! Yea! Not a perfect food, but good enough for me! I made him three and then he said he wanted two more and then one more and then zero more so I made three more and he did eat them in a set of 2 and then 1. He's really into numbers. He spends a great deal of his time counting objects (marbles, food, stairs), looking and talking about numbers on buses, clocks, trains, and he's been doing a lot of very basic math problems (like the ex the other day about the hats and crackers).

Jeremy called this evening (he's traveling M-F this week) and Yoav talked to him a bit. Yoav said, "Aba do you miss us? ... You can come home if you want to.... You coming home soon? Come home Baba! Come home Baba!" Then as he was falling asleep, I could make out some mumblings about California (Jer is in LA).

I think the good sleep, eating and me being calm all contributed to a pretty stress-free day. Only at the end did Yoav start to get wacky. Getting Yoav to sleep is so hard when Elie is awake if Yoav is over-tired/wacky. Today he was holding Elie in the bed and wanting to roll around with him. We read a few books and nursed, but it takes so long with Elie fidgeting/needing to pee and crying to change position occasionally. I can't believe I used to think it was hard to get Yoav to sleep pre-Elie. It was nothing compared to doing it with a 2 month old baby in my arms!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Saba & Safta / Elias' Bday party

We had a busy day today! Jer got bagels in the morning, so we had a pretty relaxing morning.

Then Saba & Safta came at about 11AM for a few hours. Yoav did some tickle games with Safta that he enjoyed. And we got a few cute pics of Elie and Yoav together!
2/24/08

Elias' birthday party was at 2PM. We both had a really good time. Yoav mostly ran around with G (girl) - really ran after her I think and followed everything she did. She's one of the girls he adores (along w/ Abby and E). She taught him a few dance moves that he then showed to Aba when he got home :) I met a woman who'd I'd met about a year and a half ago. She now has a 9 mos baby boy and 5.5yo boy. She's homeschooling as well - seems like she's unschooling-leaning, but not completely unschooling - she said she's teaching reading. We're going to try to meet her at an NYC homeschooling free play activity this Wednesday. It was a costume party and Yoav dressed up as a penguin. I thought he looked pretty cute! Unfortunately, my camera battery was dead when I took out my camera, so I'm hoping a friend will email me a few pics...

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Vat Love


2/23/08
Originally uploaded by jmilikow

I found some new wrap love today with my Vatanai Maruyama 4.5 that arrived in the mail. It seems to be highly recommended for summer and is amazingly comfortable for a thin wrap. I wore Elie in it so far today for about four hours with no discomfort. I did get a little hot when cooking, but usually I'm boiling, so this is an improvement.

Otherwise, we had a pretty exhausting day. Yoav only slept from 9PM to 5AM and Jer had to go to a funeral near Philly so he was gone most of the day. Luckily Mo and Lucy came over for awhile (and we all went to David's for a bagel lunch) to break up the day.


2/23/08

At dinner, Yoav set up a sort of science project. He took Jer and my Izze drinks and put a straw in one and a spoon in one. He figured out (on his own):
* The one with the spoon was taller
* The one with the straw was smaller
* He looks upside down in one side of the spoon and right side up in the other!
Lately, Yoav has been asking a fair amount of pointed questions - much more than only a month or two ago and you can see his brain soaking it all up. Things like:
* "What are one/two/three/four of something called?" (single/double/triple...)
* "Will paper freeze in the freezer?" (and guessing no)
He also does a lot of counting objects and basic addition - like now 3 people are at home and when Aba gets home there will be four. He did some subtraction today too - he had four packs of crackers and said one is for Abby and one for E and then he'll have two left.

Elie is becoming very responsive - smiles a big smile a lot in response to our smiles (and Yoav's silliness!)

Friday, February 22, 2008

Quiet Snowy Day

It was a quiet snowy day today. We had plans to play with Abby in the afternoon, but we cancelled when the snow got to be a few inches deep. We played with Lucy (lives in our building) for a few hours instead and then Yoav took a nap in the afternoon (first in about a month - he had taken a few right after Elie was born)

I just got a new wrap yesterday and have found Indio love!!! It's a natural brown Didymos Indio and I LOVE it. I'll get Jer to take a photo and add it later.

I notice a lot of immediate grammar self-correction lately w/ Yoav. Like he'll say. "I is playing with .. I am playing with ..."

I posted this to my AP group and kind of liked it so am including it here:
______________
Re: was - No praise? now - no "no"

The idea of not saying no is all about giving your child autonomy / allowing them to feel like they have control over their life. Plus it's more positive (obviously) and leads to a more pleasurable feeling for parent (and child). Try saying no to your child and then say yes another time in the same situation, and you'll find yourself to be much more joyful when you say yes!!

I don't think I've ever said no to DS, who is now 3.25yo. Instead of "I want to paint on the wall!" "No." it would be "I want to paint on the wall!" "Ok - let me put some paper on the wall so you can paint there!" (We actually let ds color directly on one wall of the playroom, but in hindsight, a big roll of paper might have been better LOL.)

Also, some experts (Aldort comes to mind) say that the less you say no, the more your child/ren will cooperate with you when you really need their help. Like if you say YES! to as much as possible, then when you absolutely need to get them out the door, they're more willing to go along.

You can even do YES such that:
Child: "I want to go to the playground!" (and it's not a good time,for whatever reason for you)
Adult: OK! We'll go just as soon as I finish cutting these veggies up.

It doesn't mean you're permissive and just *let* them do anything they want, like destroy property. You can do things like the painting on the wall example for that. A few days ago, DS was hitting daddy on the head with a tree block (OUCH!). I pulled out a largish hardback book and put it a few inches from DHs head and said, "Here, boom on this!" DS enjoyed hitting it and peacefully moved onto another activity afterwards.

Here's some "Yes" Daily Groove's by Scott Noelle. He also has a really great YES audio for TI members.
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/say-yes-first
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/yes-to-desire
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/mother-nature
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/only-yes
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/yes-energy
http://www.enjoyparenting.com/daily-groove/yes-energy-2

HTH
Emily

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Waldorf Doll

Today, Cynthia (the assistant in our Fall Waldorf Mommy/Me class - she also lives in our building) came by with a beautiful Big Brother gift for Yoav! She made this little Waldorf doll!



I was so struck by her generosity, I almost started crying! It's such a sweet doll. Yoav first named it Pipa, but then said his name is Pizza (not that he's ever had pizza...)

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Visit from Uncle Benny


We had an ok day today. The morning was really hard because I didn't get Elie to sleep until about 1AM and Yoav woke up at 5:30AM :( Needless to say, I was not at my best. Yoav felt my exhaustion and negative energy and was wanting to play and not getting his needs met so was communicating to me by hanging by my neck in bed and kicking me some :( I know it's normal and natural and he's simply communicating with me, but it's still very frustrating. Hopefully tonight I'll get more sleep - it's definitely key for me to be able to jump out of bed when he wakes up and go play with him rather than lingering in bed...

We went out for bagels, which helped a lot. Lately Yoav has been pretty difficult at the bagel place (David's) - he has gotten into such a strict routine, it was almost impossible to get through breakfast without a hitch. The routine was to lay out a napkin (one w/ six sections) - one section was for his small orange juice, one section for a single bite of my bagel, one section for a cup with "pieces" (small pieces) and "chunks" (large pieces) of his bagel. Inevitably, we'd make the pieces differently than he wanted or the juice would fall or even just a drop would get on the napkin... Today I just made two pieces and two chunks and put them in one section and he was happy with that. He got cinnamon raisin instead of his usual whole wheat. And I got a coffee, which helped me tremendously LOL.

After breakfast, we played in the playroom for awhile (mostly with his Haba marble run) until Uncle Benny came to continue the marble run play. An interesting note about how visual his (and probably most kids') memory is - he has 13 marbles and I had laid out 12 of them and said we were missing one. He counted them and pointed to one and said the one we were missing was like that one. We eventually found it and he was right. Seems amazing to me that he actually knows our inventory of marbles, especially since we only got them about a week ago.

Anyway, then Benny came and Yoav had lots of fun with him as always. Benny played marble run some, then they watched some home videos on the laptop and then Benny read a few stories. Yoav fell asleep at 6PM - hopefully tonight will go better than last night!

It's now 9PM and I've been miss-free pee/poop-wise with Elie all day today! I'm still using the same prefold that I started the day with!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Yoav up at 3:30AM! :(


2/15/08
Originally uploaded by jmilikow

This is my new Girasol Blau. Wanted to post it b/c I'm thinking of selling it, so I wanted a photo :)

We had a crazy day today - Yoav woke up at 3:30AM!!!!! Yes, 3:30AM! He woke up and nursed for about half an hour and didn't fall asleep. I got frustrated/tired of nursing and asked if we could try snuggling to sleep. It didn't work. I tried, Jeremy tried, Jeremy told him stories, etc. Finally, Jeremy took him to play in the playroom. Luckily, Jeremy was leaving for a wedding today, so he was able to sleep on the plane and can sleep tonight.

We had LLL Toddler in the morning. I tried to get some help on night weaning, but there's not really a clear answer at Yoav's age. It seems like most people night weaned earlier. I was afraid to night wean before, because i was afraid it would lead to complete weaning (which it doesn't seem to do based on experience from friends). The way that seems to work best is to say the tzi-tzis are sleeping. I've tried it with Yoav and it doesn't work at all, but maybe I have to be a little forceful about it.

Also, ideas for Jeremy to better be able to keep Elie calm while I'm putting Yoav to sleep:
* Wear him in wrap
* Let him suck on a (clean) finger
* Bounce on birth ball

We had a playdate with Melissa & Elias in the afternoon. Yoav was soooo tired, so it was a bit wacky - some random throwing things up in the air, etc. But Yoav was falling asleep at 3pm before they got here, so it's good they came - he barely made it till 6pm and urgently said he wanted to go to sleep ;)

LLL Toddler in the morning and then Elias and Melissa came in the afternoon.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Phoenix & Jackie

We had a fun day today - we had a playdate with Jackie and Phoenix (also an unschooler). They have a fun house with a great fort that Jackie made! The kids played with that some, trains, bouncing on the beds, and random running around. For the most part, they got along really well and Yoav said he wants to go back soon.



Phoenix's amazing fort:

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Suzuki & Library

We had a fun day today. Quiet morning at home, then we left at 12:30pm for Suzuki. Yoav wanted to bring three bags of stuff, but was surprisingly understanding about my concerns of me ending up carrying it all and agreed to just bring one small bag with a bouncy ball in it, which fit in his coat pocket.

On the trip over, it was RAINING heavily! But it doesn't bother Yoav in the least. We had to wait about 10 minutes for the m11 bus - Yoav was very happily watching a digger carry rocks to a dumpster, return for more, dump, etc. A man with a shovel working on the rock clearing noticed Yoav watching him and waved. I said to Yoav, "The man is waving to you. You can wave back if you want." and he waved and the man smiled.

When the bus finally arrived, Yoav hurried on to get a seat while I was closing the umbrellas. By the time I sat down, he was deep in conversation with the man next to him about the diggers - he even included sound effects when telling the man about the digger activity ;) We ended up talking to the guy the whole way up... At one point, the guy asked Yoav if he goes to school and Yoav said, "Yea, first I went to Lisa's (Waldorf teacher) and now I go to Tova's (Suzuki teacher)."

When we got off the bus, we had to walk 1 1/2 blocks in the pouring rain and Yoav was SOOOOO slow! He was just watching the rain running along the curb, walking in puddles, noticing cars/trucks/signs, etc. Since we had time and it wasn't very cold, I just let him set the pace, but boy was it hard for me to bite my tongue and not hurry him along!!

In class, his participation was minimal as usual. He always sits during the parts where everyone walks/jumps/runs or dances around in a circle. He watches everyone going around and mostly monitors E, who seems to be his best friend. His eyes lit up, though when Tova said they would get to play piano. He very patiently waited his turn. I said he would be after Isabella, who then decided not to do it. Yoav was very hesitant to go ahead of her, since I'd said he'd be after her. He looked at her questioningly to be sure it was ok. He enjoyed his turn and played with both hands and used his hands somewhat the way actual pianists do rather than just touching one key at a time like the rest of the kids. A nanny who plays piano for her main career noticed and asked if he likes to play and said it looks like he might be good at piano ;)

After class, he and E were hugging and running around. At one point, N suddenly tackled him to the floor and Yoav was really startled/upset. He tried to nurse, but with Elie in the wrap on the side Yoav was on, he couldn't get the breast out before he got distracted by E ;) Then we ate lunch with Y,E,C and R,N. He was sharing everything with E. They're really starting to become friends and have some meaningful exchanges. When E lost one of her stickers (given out at the end of class - UGH), Yoav gave her his. E said to her mom, "Yoav is very kind." :)

Then we went with Y,E,C to the local library for a circus-related storytelling. The first part was an act - balancing a long feather on her finger, a card trick, etc. But then the woman told a story about a dog who ate noses and then was still hungry after eating a nose and ate one after another circus performer! Yoav was terrified and asked to leave. We went upstairs to pick out a few books and then headed home.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Pippi

We went to see a marionette production of Pippi Longstocking at the Swedish Cottage Marionette Theatre in Central Park (click here). Yoav was afraid of all the characters except Pippi, her horse and her monkey. So if any other puppet came on, he covered his eyes. After about ten minutes, we left the show and ate lunch while waiting for our friends. Oddly, in the beginning, a puppeteer came out with a marionette from another play and walked her around the room and came over to Yoav and gave him five (with the puppet) and Yoav really liked that.

It started snowing while we were there, so we got to see Central Park in the snow :)

On the way over, we saw Benny on the subway! What a surprise! We got to ride with him some on the A train.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Yoav's Haircut


I cut Yoav's hair!!!! I've been asking him for months (his last cut was in August) and there's pics of us attempting to take him to a barber either in Dec or Jan. I tried to do a sort of purposely ragged bowl cut - it's a little thicker at the bottom than i want -i'll have to work on thinning it over the next few days, but it's definitely better than it was... He wanted me to cut it like Yonatan's and he said when he looked at it that it did ;) Later he said he likes it because it's like Yonatan's :)

Yoav said, "I can cut this? (a part of an apple) You don't mind?" so he seems to have mastered the minding idea ;)

It was really cold today so we didn't do the playdate we had scheduled and just stayed home and cleaned the apartment. It turned into a very Waldorfy day. We did the cleaning - mostly sweeping and rearranging - me with my broom and Yoav with his little broom.

Then, for dinner, we did a full Waldorf experience! I had leftover fricassee from last night and made rice and sauteed spinach to go with it. I put out cloth napkins and forks for us with the food and before we ate I lit a beeswax candle and said a little blessing: "Earth who gave to us this food, Sun who made it ripe and good, Dearest Earth, and Dearest Sun, We'll not forget what you have done." (from "Heaven on Earth") Yoav enjoyed it. He ate some chicken and some spinach and we sat long enough for me to eat my whole dinner, which was pretty relaxing for me. Yoav blew out the candle at the end.

"The Unschooling Unmanual" finally came!!! I pre-ordered about 6 months ago. I can't wait to read it!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

School for Strings Festival

Jer got home at about 6AM today. It was so weird b/c we were all awake and Yoav was flopping around, unable to fall back to sleep (he went to sleep yesterday at 7PM, so I was hoping he'd sleep until closer to 7 rather than 5:30...) It seemed unlikely that he'd go back to sleep and I was just starting to feel frustrated, so I said (just as an activity), "Let's see if Aba is home yet." Yoav and I got out of bed, opened the bedroom door and Jer was on the other side!!! Maybe I heard him but didn't make the connection in my head, so it was sort of subliminal... It was pretty funny. Yoav's first excited story to Jer was about how Mo was holding him and helping him to do big jumps on Lucy's bed. She was calling it "boings" which he didn't remember. He said, "Aba, Mo did doobs for me. She bounced me all the way up to the sky!" Yoav always has to tell something exciting to Jer when he comes home - never a "hi", always an excited random story.

Also, before I forget, I just noticed today that Yoav has replaced "yes" in favor of "yea". :( The yes was so cute, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he picked up yea instead...

Jer let me sleep at bit extra after he got home while he and Yoav played in the playroom, which was so glorious after so many days of going to bed late with Elie and waking up early with Yoav. Last night I didn't get Elie to sleep until after 1AM, so it was a great day for a bit of extra sleep.

We went to the mid-year Festival for the Suzuki School for Strings. It was great to see. Kids as young as 3 years old were playing "Twinkle Variations" on violin! Yoav's teacher, Tova, was there, playing/leading the kids in cello. Yoav seemed to enjoy it, and especially liked to see Tova on the stage. He seems excited to learn to play violin. We apply in April to hopefully get into the Fall private violin class.

Then to Whole Foods (see ECingElie for story about Elie going pee there!). We got ingredients for Fricassee and got it started when we got home. We got a recipe from Trudy and it's my new favorite meal!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Coaching session with Scott Noelle

I had a coaching session this evening with Scott Noelle (parenting coach - his website is here). Since Jeremy has been gone since Tuesday and not back until Sunday, Yoav hasn't gotten the daily play with Jeremy that I think helps him unwind and relax a bit. This morning, Yoav was bouncing on the bed and trying to jump over me to wake up Elie; then when I moved him off the bed, he screamed to wake Elie up and was pretty happy with his success LOL. In the afternoon, I was nursing Elie and Yoav hit me in the face. That's the main reason I called Scott - I started thinking Yoav is nervous about weaning or losing his special spot in the family - it worried me that he got anxious seeing Elie nursing since he's still nursing...

Here are my notes from the 40-minute session:
* Don't be specific in your interpretation of the issue. He's feeling some dissatisfaction/powerlessness and is grasping for empowerment/strength. The behavior is experimental - he is testing to see what works. You want to make sure it doesn't work for him and help him find something that does.

* We discussed the book I'm reading (recommended by him) called "Learning Non-Aggression" which is a discussion of nonviolence in a few primitive cultures. Patricia Draper writes about the !Kung, where she says she almost never saw violent/aggressive acts. She writes, "I have seen a seven-year-old crying and furious, hurling sticks, nut shells, and eventually burning embers at her mother. The mother sat at her fire talking with her child's grandmother. Bau (the mother) put up her arm occasionally to ward off the thrown objects but carried on her conversation nonchalantly." However, if the mother does reach her breaking point, before getting angry, she can call out for someone else to take the child to play.
* Scott said I have to play both roles because "I'm the whole village." So I should not resist the beating and should try to distract/play/change the scenery to grab onto something with Yes energy. I have to be creative - think about what IS possible - give energy to that, rather than focusing on what I can't do.
Related Daily Groove links:
Resistance Is Futile
Not Wrong
Acceptance vs. Tolerance

* As an example, w/ the nursing and hitting me, I said, "Well, what could I do, I was nursing Elie at the time." But really, it's quite easy at Elie's age to nurse standing up - I could have easily carried Elie to the playroom or gone to read a book to Yoav or whatever to help us connect.

* Be Yoav's assistant - don't resist him (like if he's trying to wake up Elie) - rather, help him to do what he wants to do in an appropriate way.
An unrelated example is if he wants to play with a sharp knife, sit with him in your lap and give him something soft to cut w/ the knife with your guidance.
* In the example of Yoav trying to wake up Elie, hold his hand gently - perhaps hold his hand and kiss it, don't hold it simply to block. Partner w/ him, don't block him. Perhaps use the hand to gently caress Elie's hair.
* Same example - instead of "Please don't wake up the baby." (or something w/ that same negative energy even if the word "don't" isn't used) find a way to make Yoav *want* to wait to wake up Elie.
* In a less-creative parenting model, that would be a reward or bribe.
* Instead, perhaps talk about something you can do while he's sleeping that will make it more fun when he wakes up - like to go set the table for breakfast really nicely with a candle.
* Make a "love nest" - engage him with that.
* Help him get into a calm place.
* If necessary, Scott has a few things he can "pull out of a hat" for use anytime, like, "Come here, I have a surprise for you in the kitchen..."
* You can prepare in advance - during the bedtime routine, talk about what you're going to do in the morning - his examples were a bath or go out in the garden, or something else equally fun/special to do alone on days when Elie is still sleeping.
* You want to do something that "instigates a good Flow" and to "set up anticipation for the activity the night before."

* Focus on the "flow of pleasure" - gently guide him to pleasurable, workable ways to channel his energy.
* Instead of squeezing feet, tickle toes, play the piggies game, etc...

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Cute thing Yoav said

Just a cute thing Yoav said a few days ago - he asked me to pick something up and said, "Get me that. You mind, do a favorite for me." or something very close to that - he was trying to say, "If you don't mind, can you do me a favor?" which I say occasionally when I want him to bring me something out of reach when I'm nursing Elie or otherwise semi-indisposed.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Addition

Because we're unschooling, I'm pretty watchful for naturally-occurring math. Yoav has been doing very simple addition for a long time (at least a year) with food - like he gets three Nordic Naturals DHA pills per day and we used to count them (per his request). First there'd be one, then two, then he'd say things like, "One more and then there will be three." We cut eggs into quarters and other foods into halves or other fractions, so he's learning fractions and semi understands what a half is and occasionally uses the word to mean to split something into two, which isn't accurate, but it's how we use the word ourselves with him when we use it to describe parts of food.

Today he did 3 + 2 = 5.
Yesterday, he noticed that three people on our bus were wearing "the same hats" (the NY Giants hat). Then, today, he was rather surprised to see two more people on a different bus wearing the same hat! First he said, "Four people wearing the same hat! Three on the other bus and two on this bus." I didn't correct him (never do) and then he decided to check himself and said, "1 2 3 4 5. 5 people!"

We had our second Suzuki class. What a great class! I wish I'd started earlier, but I guess it's better late than never. And, to be fair, when we did a trial when he was 2.5yo (for Fall '07), he said he didn't like it and didn't want to go back, so maybe he wasn't ready. Also his friend E is in the class and he told me twice today that she's his "favorite person". They do lots of finger games using various fingers to build their finger coordination - like they do "Itsy Bitsy Spider" making a spider w/ their thumbs and index fingers touching and then we sing w/ spiders made of thumb and pinky. We do other fingerplays at home and in other situations (Waldorf in the fall, library sing-along, etc.) but this is much more complicated/difficult because the class is working to get the kids ready to play an instrument... There are some standing and moving in a circle activities which Yoav doesn't partake in yet - he just sits in his spot and watches - he mostly watches E to see what she's doing ;)

Getting Yoav to sleep today was difficult but not nearly as bad as yesterday. Elie cried some and I had to reposition many times, but Elie wasn't as distressed as yesterday (mostly because it didn't take as long) so I was mostly able to stay in bed and nurse Elie and Yoav would nurse a bit, then roll over to try to fall asleep by himself, then talk to himself, then nurse a bit, kick me if I wasn't in a good position for him or if I was busy trying to get Elie situated, etc. He finally fell asleep nursing.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Elie's 2 month Dr Appt

We had Elie's 2-month doctor's appointment today. His stats are:

Height: 24"
Weight: 12 lbs, 6 oz
Head Circ: 15.75"

Dr. Hops said that was 85% for height, 75% for weight and 50% for head circ. Yay Elie!

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Yoav's Eating

We had a great day today. We went out to breakfast nearby - Jer and I each got blueberry pancakes and split a side of scrambled eggs. They don't offer hard boiled eggs, so I brought two for Yoav - he ate both (whites only) plus he ate some of the scrambled egg on toast the way Jeremy was eating it!

After breakfast, Jeremy and Yoav went to feed squirrels and I went to Whole Foods. Jer is traveling Tues-Sun, so I planned out all my meals and got lots of food at WH. I need to start going earlier in the day on weekends - it gets so insanely crowded!

Jer and Yoav had a great time while I was gone and only got back slightly before me. They had stopped somewhere to get empanadas and Yoav ate some of the meat there. We're going to try to make some similar when Jer gets back so we can use organic meat.

For dinner, I made fricassee. It's only the second time we've made it (Safta's recipe) and the first time Yoav was awake when we ate it. He LOVED the chicken (it is DELICIOUS - hard not to like it)! He ate one and a half drumsticks and only stopped eating because he was really tired and wanted to go to sleep.

I just bought another wrap on TBW - a Girasol Blau 4.36m. I've heard that Girasols are really soft, so I want to try one.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

A few cute things from today:

* Early in the morning, Yoav and Elie were nursing and Elie kept popping off and I had to help him re-latch. Yoav said, "Elie keeps popping on and off. Help him!" and he unlatched and rolled over.

* Leaving the post office, a woman said to me, What a happy boy! He was singing and smiling the whole time." Nice that Yoav can entertain himself at the post office! ;)

* Jeremy was working today and had just called to say he would be later than expected and then soon after, Yoav was wanting to nurse in bed (which tends to mean long nursing sessions), then wanted a different cup for his tea than what I had used and I said "OK" but must have sounded tired/frustrated. Yoav said, "You are frustrated?" ;)