Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Understanding Love

Today Yoav and I were talking about how much we love eachother. I always say I love him "this much" and make my arms as wide apart as possible. He said to me, "I love Elie this much (small amount) about I don't know him much about he doesn't talk yet." Pretty insightful :)

Today was our first day of Suzuki music. It's at The School for Strings in Hell's Kitchen. I'm really glad we're doing the class. Yoav didn't join in much, but I think in time he will. For instance, everyone was going around in a circle singing and running and Yoav was sitting and watching. He said he wanted to do it "later" and after it was over, he said he wanted to do it. So maybe he was just watching this time and will partake more next time. He enjoyed the part where we kept the beat with wooden dowel things. We were supposed to hit them together in front of us, in back, etc. with the teacher saying what to do next and Yoav was enjoying following that one.

Also, just a funny conversation - the pianist in the class asked Yoav his name, then he asked her name; the she asked his age; then he asked her age - It was just a back and forth exchange and he asked her age in the same sort of way she asked his ;)

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

today elie was next to me on the couch and yoav asked me to do
something for him just as elie started to cry. i helped yoav first
b/c it was a quick thing he needed. later, yoav said to me, "you
don't love elie anymore?" i said of course i do and yoav referenced
the playdough / crying scene as the source of his confusion. i can't
believe how perceptive he is!

yoav seems to be slowly starting to eat more. today he had a normal
pre-elie lunch! he ate two hard-boiled egg whites, 1.5 clementines,
and a handful of tamari almonds. for dinner, he tasted a meatball and
ate a bowl of rice noodles.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Dealing with wants

Today was Elie's first time pottying in a public toilet. We had a
birthday party at a Krazy City in a mall and when we got there, I went
to the bathroom to change Elie assuming I would just change a wet
diaper, but it was dry! It had been about 3 hours since he'd last
peed. I took Eliie into a stall and held him over a toilet in potty
position. He peed and pooped!

I wanted to write a bit about how Yoav deals with wanting things in
stores. I heard Scott Noelle talk many months ago (maybe even a
year?) about validating children when they say they want something in
a store. Encourage them to touch and talk about the toy. Say things
like, "That toy is so red! You like it because it has sparkles?"
I've been doing this ever since - sometimes I'd have to wait several
minutes while Yoav talked about why we "needed" an item at Whole Foods and this process could happen for five or more items during a single
shop! It was quite tiring, but, for the most part, I was very free
with my time and allowed Yoav the freedom to talk about and explore
these products. Over the past few months, Yoav has developed a "Big Ducky" character. In real life, it was a big blue duck he got from
Wilai at David's Bagels for his second Hannukah. It eventually got
dirty (from dragging it around outside) and I got rid of it. Then a
few months ago, he saw Big Ducky in a photo and has been talking about
him ever since. About what cars Big Ducky drives, where he lives,
what kind of toys he has, etc. Today when we passed some stuffed toy
puppies, instead of saying he wanted one, he talked about how Big
Ducky has one that's red and he has lots of them and blah blah. This
is his way of exploring the toy without needing to buy it and bring it
home.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

quick things:

Yoav is a really good sharer. Today Lucy didn't want to share her
apples with him, so Mo cut up a second apple for Yoav. When Yoav got
his apple, the first thin he did was to give a slice to lucy.

i told yoav I was going to cut out milk from my diet to potentially
help his skin/itchiness. He said, "Is that ok for you not to eat
milk." or something close to that. I've told him that milk is good
for me to help my bones and to help my body make tzi tzi milk. I
think he was worried about me, but there's a chance he was worried
about the production of tzi tzis...

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Great playdate / General transition progress

We had my friend Jackie and her son, Phoenix, over today for a playdate. Phoenix is just a few days younger than Yoav. They're unschoolers also. The playdate was great. Yoav and Phoenix played a lot TOGETHER, which I love to see. They were mostly doing a lot of running around together. It was great to catch up with Jackie. She even held Elie while I prepared lamb shanks for dinner - yea!!

I feel like we've definitely hit a turning point. I think it's largely due to the fact that we've been getting out a lot - this week we have a playdate scheduled everyday - three here and two out of the house. When Yoav doesn't get out of the apartment and no one comes over to play, he starts to go stir-crazy by about noon. Now that Elie has good head control, it's so much easier for me to wrap him up and get out and about.

I'm sure part of it is simply that time has elapsed - Yoav isn't as obsessed with Elie as he was in the beginning and is comfortable that we still love him as much as we did pre-Elie. He still likes to hold Elie, but he rarely touches Elie in a way that makes me nervous.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

First diaper-free night!

we had a dipe free (no miss) night!!! jer's traveling so i thought
i'd try! he ended up sleeping on my tummy bc i was tired and couldn't
get him to sleep, so that prob made it easier. i peed him in bed into
the bb insert and then would dump the pee into a bigger bowl on the
side table. i made the noise quietly into his ear.

Friday, January 11, 2008

I posted this on my local AP Yahoo group:

Re: activities for SIBLING play

I saw this a few days ago and have been (unfortunately) thinking
a lot about it. I'll post my thoughts and then I'm hoping others can
add to the ideas..

I find that our smoothest days are those when Elie (1 mo) is in the
wrap (FWCC in a stretchy or Didy is working best for me) for as
much of the day as possible! I think it's the best option at
this age for a variety of reason:
* I have both hands free to get my own things done quickly so I'm
under less stress
* I have both hands free to play w/ Yoav (3yo) so it's much easier
to fill his proverbial cup
* Yoav doesn't really notice Elie - he's even asked me where Elie was
when Elie was in the wrap before!
* Yoav doesn't notice Elie nursing, which for us is important, b/c I'm
doing everything I can to reduce Yoav's nursing..

Aside from that, for the times when Elie IS out of the wrap, I've been
working a lot on songs. Like we sing a diaper changing song when
I put him down to change a diaper. Sending Yoav on an errand also
helps

I'm trying to maintain positive language - so if Yoav squeezes Elie
harder than I'm comfortable with, I repeat (for the zillionth time) how
Elie really likes to play the piggy game w/ his toes or really likes kisses
on his feet or wants to hear a song (that's the best for temporary
respite - Yoav loves to sing and gets sidetracked by which song Elie
wants to hear and then the singing itself...)

I do also let Yoav hold Elie a fair amount b/c he seems so
desperate to do so.

Other than the wrap, nothing is really working that well and on
cooped-up rainy days like today, I find it really really hard to
keep Yoav's cup filled :( Just trying my best to stay positive, not to
get upset with Yoav, etc.

Emily

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Should

Yoav said "should" yesterday for the first time - we made animals
frozen in ice cubes and he had put two in his play kitchen and I put
two in the real freezer. When he saw htat his didn't freeze, he said,
"I should have done two and two." I think meaning he should have put
two in his fridge AND the two in the freezer in the real freezer.

Yoav didn't nurse much today - Jer was home in the morning b/c he's
traveling and then we went out at 2pm to feed the squirrels and play
w/ Mo and Lucy and went to their house after, and didn't nurse in
between (till 6PM). Yoav fell asleep as soon as we got home at 6.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Playful Parenting

Today yoav got upset when water spilled out of a little bowl
- he said he wanted it back in the cup - he didn't want me to pour new
water in - he wanted the water that was previously there back in! So
i relaxed and said the water fairies would take care of it. I told a
story about the tiny water fairies who are the size of a drop of water
and how they could carry the drops of water one by one back to the
cup. Of course the water on the floor evaporated and it wasn't that
much, so it made for a pretty good story and we were all happy :) I'm pretty sure that was successful Playful Parenting (Larry Cohen book) and not a lie.

We put plastic toys in cups w/ water and froze them to make ice cubes
- it was neat (an idea from AU) - then yoav melted the ice in the
bathroom sink. fun and a good science experiment to learn about water
:)

Friday, January 4, 2008

Jeremy put Yoav to sleep for the first time!

Jeremy just put Yoav to sleep for the first time (other than
walking to sleep in a carrier, which he's done many times). I was
actually nursing Yoav in bed when he suddenly jumped up, said he
wanted to hear the Rocky Raccoon "story" (the Beatles song) and ran
into the living room to Jeremy. Jeremy sang songs to Yoav for about
15-20 minutes (Yoav was already really tired and had already nursed
for a bit) and Yoav fell fast asleep!

So, we're definitely making progress with the sleeping/nursing
problems. We tried the different arrangement once (Elie, me, DH,
Yoav) but when Yoav woke up during the night, he leapt over Jeremy to
get to me to nurse and almost squished Elie in the process (not his
fault - I don't even think he knew Elie was there in his half-asleep
state). I've been doing the nursing and then cuddling to final sleep,
which is mostly working. When he cries about it, I just keep nursing
and sometimes try again later. Elie is still waking Yoav up during
the night and if it happens after about 4:30am, Yoav ends up waking up
for good and nursing until Jeremy wakes up to go play with him. So
I'm still trying to solve that problem - it's way too early for me!

Unrelated, once today I asked Yoav to wash his hands (after he ate an
egg) and it was taking a while so I peeked into the bathroom and he
was peeing in the big toilet (standing up, no stool, holding his penis
over the edge). He's done this before over the past month or two, but
this was the first time I know of that he did it himself and didn't
even mention it to me afterwards.

Art and Jack came over. Jack and Yoav played so well together. First,
they were both naked - Yoav was naked so Jack decided to be naked
(he's known to enjoy nakey time too!) They played in the bedroom a
lot alone together - jumping on the bed and Jack was jumping off the
bed. They also played in the bathroom and even locked the door!
Seems like they both genuinely were having a lot of fun - that they
found an activity that was mutually fun. Jack seemed to understand
Yoav well also. It was amazing to see them talking together. It's so
different to see Yoav playing with an older child (Jack, Elias,
Yonatan) than with the kids his age. As an aside, Yoav did twice take
toys from Frankie (15 mos). She didn't seem to mind, so we didn't
make much of it, but :( I think this only happens w/ younger kids. I
can't remember Yoav ever (or at least that I can remember) taking
something from a friend or someone his age (or older).

Eating - Yoav ate 1.5 eggs in omelette form rolled up, about half a
cup of oatmeal (an instant 365 org maple spice) and about one
clementine. Seems like he's starting to eat a little more and even
sometimes say he's hungry.