Sunday, April 30, 2006

Apr 30, 2006 - Trip to Hartford

Went to Hartford this weekend to visit Jeremy's parents. Jeremy's sister was there with her son - they are moving up to Hartford and are staying with Jeremy's parents for a few months until their house is ready (assuming they get the house they bid on).

Had a lot of problems with Cousin D right from the beginning. He seems to be getting less verbal and more physical about his negative feelings toward Yoav. He used to say things like: "Get him away." "I don't want him to touch that." "He can't have that." Sometimes he would push. Now, he really doesn't talk about it as much, but will occasionally, very suddenly, dart at Yoav and grab/scratch at his face. The first time it happened, I got so scared - I thought he was poking Yoav's eye. I said, "D, please stop!!!" and he did immediately stop and Yoav didn't even cry.

It's likely just a jealousy issue between Yoav and Cousin D, since Yoav is younger and is getting some of D's attention. Hopefully it will pass soon.

We left in the afternoon.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Apr 23, 2006

Too late to write much but wanted to post quickly.

Yoav suddenly seems much older. Says "no" a lot and very clearly. Exerting will. Mimics a lot of our actions:
1. held screwdriver and turned it just like Jeremy did when putting together his little table
2. tried to wipe his tushy with a babywipe
3. carries bags
4. plays with kitchen - takes pots off stove, smells and says "mmmm" - then wants me to do same

Holds hand and pulls me/Jeremy to where he wants us to be. Yesterday held Jeremy's hand and put it in tub to show Jeremy that he wanted Jeremy to splash with him in the tub.

Recognized a car in a magazine and said "car".

When I open fridge for him, he looks around and takes what he wants and gives it to me to prepare for him - today took out an apple, orange and cod liver oil (which he loves).

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Apr 18, 2006 - saying no

Today was a fun day.

In the morning, we went with Baba (Daddy/Aba) to the bagel store. Always enjoyable.

Then we came back home and played for a bit and got ready for our API meeting on Extended Breastfeeding.

We walked down with Laura and Jessica.

The meeting was fun - the regional leader of API came with a LLL leader. They talked about the benefits of extended breastfeeding. The things most interesting to me were:
1. A child's immune system isn't fully developed until age 6.
2. Breastfeeding children get "information" about food through bfing. So if I eat spicy food, then Yoav is more likely to be willing to try something spicy since he already has information about it. I think that's how they used the word. They said that breastfed babies are generally more open to trying a variety of foods when they are older.
3. If Yoav is exposed to an illness that I'm not exposed to, I can still make antibodies for him - it's an amazing feedback loop: Yoav passes the germs to me through the breast when he's nursing! Then I make antibodies and he gets them when nursing! So all in all, less illness when bfing continues.
4. Fat content and density of nutritional value increases after one year - so they can nurse less and maintain their high dietary needs. This is a bonus over non bfed toddlers, since toddlers are on the go a lot and aren't always willing to sit down to eat.
5. Breastmilk has lactoferrin which aids in iron absorption, making iron much better absorbed if natural iron is eaten with breastmilk rather than iron fortified foods. Even the iron in breastmilk results in the baby getting much more iron than simply eating an iron fortified food, b/c the breastmilk iron is so much better absorbed. Also the lactoferrin provides protection against intestinal and respiratory infections.

Yoav was watching two bigger kids (ages 3 and 5) play. They didn't want to play with Yoav, but Yoav couldn't tell - he was watching them push their play cars and make funny noises. But then, while I was watching, the two boys ran (with Yoav running happily after them) into a room and closed the door and looked out the window at Yoav. Yoav seemed to know what was going on. He looked up at me slightly confused and a little sad. I felt so bad for him - a tear came to my eye :(

After the meeting, I walked to Union Square with R. (with 19mos N.). We talked about NVC (non-violent communication) and the book I'm reading - "Parenting From Your Heart" by Inbal Kashtan. I really love the book - I'm trying to use NVC now with Yoav whenever we have a difference of opinion or I want him/us to do something. Yoav fell asleep soon after we started walking (at 3:15).

Then I went to Whole Foods to pick up food for dinner and walked home.

When we got home, I asked Yoav if he wanted me to take off his sweatshirt. He said "no" SO perfectly clearly that I was startled. It's the first word that he's said with perfect enunciation. He must have known that he said it perfectly, because he said it a few times to practice after that.

We played with his kitchen for a bit. He really is starting to love it. He's beginning to enjoy basic imaginative play. He puts colored blocks into the pots, moves them from stovetop to oven, etc. The cutest part is that he says he's making soup (he says the word soup) and smells the pot and says "mmmm" and he puts the pot near my nose for me to smell and say "mmmm". I ordered him a few fake vegetables today on and got him another pot, since the one we have is pretty poorly made (the top won't stay on, which greatly frustrates Yoav).

Yoav ate leftover Curry Chicken from yesterday which he really liked - he ate quite a bit of chicken. It's a recipe from Nourishing Traditions- chicken from the stock I made this weekend, some spices, stock and coconut milk.

Daddy home today early around 6PM. Played a bit - Yoav went through Jeremy's wallet - took cards out, put them back - was very organized and thorough about it.

Then bathtime, Yoav to sleep, and Jeremy and I had spaghetti and meat.

Friday, April 14, 2006

4/13/06 - Passover

Got up and had breakfast. It's quite difficult and stressful with Cousin D and there's not an easy answer. He's been fairly rough with Yoav. I'm trying to mostly first make sure that Yoav is ok and, while holding Yoav, talk to Cousin D when he does something rough so Yoav sees that 1) I'm there for Yoav to try to keep him safe and 2) it's not ok behavior. I don't really know what to say to Yoav other than that D is very angry and very frustrated and doesn't want to share.

Tried to take afternoon train back - train 3 hrs delayed so we came back to Jer's parents house and went to seder again.

Yoavi was super cute and had a good time at the Seder (he was awake the whole time). Ate lots of roasted chicken, brisket, carrot, fruit. Played w/ a ball that Riva gave him. Laughed when everyone else laughed, clapped hands during songs, etc. Got upset once when he was eating horseradish and I took it away b/c I was afraid it would stain the tablecloth or floor.

Sunday, April 9, 2006

4/12/06 - Trip to CT

Woke up this morning and Jeremy said he wanted to do something for Passover. Decided to go to his parents' house. Did laundry, took shower (holding Yoav) and met Jeremy at the train station. Took Amtrak straight to Hartford.

Cousin D was immediately defensive - saying he doesn't want Yoav to have anything/hold anything.

Got to R's house and went upstairs w/ Yoav in sling and he fell right asleep because he only briefly napped on the way to the train station. Put him on blanket on floor w/ monitor.

R's son, D and his wife W and baby H were there - Baby H was born a few days earlier than Yoav. She's very cute. She was up the whole time we were there for the seder.

Home around 11PM and to sleep.

Apr 9 - Bad mothering - Yoav picks up the sling

Haven't posted in so long - I want to write something and then I have notes to try to catch up a bit!

funny thing happened today -Yoav was trying to squeeze a measuring cup into the little cupboard of his play kitchen. I was tired, he was frustrated, I said, "it's too big, it won't fit." He didn't accept my answer, tried more squeezing, rotating, etc. until it slid right in!! I think this is the first time he's proven me wrong :)

Trying to stay in his room today - everytime we go anywhere else, he grabs things that I don't want him to touch and it's just making me frustrated as I haven't been getting enough sleep. For instance, in my room, I just bought an air purifier but haven't set it up yet. Today he grabbed the filter which I didn't want him to touch b/c I don't want it to get ruined. He is opening the drawers of my desk, which I have babyproofing things for, but haven't installed - Jeremy said he'll help me with it tomorrow.

I'm rereading "Unconditional Parenting" by Alfie Kohn - that should give me some inspiration.

It's been hard w/out Jeremy - he's been gone since Thurs and this is his fifth consecutive weekend away. It's a lot of time to spend exclusively with Yoav. I haven't spent time with another adult since Thurs except on the phone :(

So in the evening, I have to say I think I had my worst mommy moment to date, followed by an act so kind by Yoav that it nearly broke my heart. So as I wrote before, today was a hard day - dinner was a mess - Yoav wanted my cup instead of his sippy cup, drank a little, then poured water into his plate, then took the watery food and spread it on the coffee table, etc.

We did laundry, came up, took a semi-bath (just soaped and rinsed under the spigot without using a drainplug). Then began the long process to get Yoav to sleep (it took a total of 2 hours). We started out in the glider, me reading him books. After a bit, he pushed me out of the chair so he could rock himself and then realized it was fun to slide off, did that a few times and then I moved him to the floor (he sleeps on a comforter on his floor until I go to sleep) to read/nurse there. When that seemed to fail, I got him into the sling and walked back and forth for about 15 mins - he seemed to be falling asleep but then suddenly rotated his head around (in a mei tei in a front carry position), pulled his arms out and tried to get out. I tried to get him interested in nursing again, but he was too bent on getting out of the sling, so I let him down. Then I tried nursing him on the sheet on the floor where he sleeps before I go to sleep (light was off at this point). This continued for awhile until again he was almost asleep, but then one of his arms flopped over and touched a bowl from his kitchen set, which made him wake fully up and he started crawling away. I tried to pick him up but he cried. So then I started crying b/c it had already been over an hour and a half, I was in a bad mood to begin with, Jeremy was coming home soon and I wanted to clean up a little, etc. I know I shouldn't have cried with him there, but I was just really at the end of my rope and I couldn't take it anymore. I was so exhausted and depressed and he seemed wide awake again. So I had my face in a pillow crying. When I looked up after about a minute, Yoav was standing up holding the sling as if to say that he would go in it now. He looked so sweet. I can't imagine I'll ever forget when he looked like at that moment, looking into my eyes, worried and hopeful that he could help. I put the sling on and he went in without a single wiggle - I don't think it's ever been that easy to get him into the mei tei. He played with my glasses for a minute or so maybe to make sure I was ok. Then he started nursing and he was asleep within 5 minutes.

I feel so bad that I cried in front of him; I feel especially bad that I cried because it was taking him so long to go to sleep, so to him, it probably seemed that I was upset with HIM. I'm drinking some tea now and then I'm going to read "Unconditional Parenting" some more. :(